N'Tirzah: My Music is the Seat of My Creativity

M Shamsideen
Oct 12, 2019
6 min read

Updated: Mar 17, 2023

N’Tirzah: 56. [note: originally posted in 2014]

I worked in the banking industry as a Manager in Foreign Exchange at a major bank. Currently I am a student at New York College of Health Professions pursuing my B.S./ M.S. in Oriental Medicine. I hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in Spanish/Linguistics from New York University. I graduated from The LaGuardia High School of Music & The Performing Arts (High School Degree) where I studied musical theory and vocal technique. I am also a classically trained pianist.

Profession:

Healer, Singer, Dancer, Choreographer.

Your name is beautiful and unusual. What does your name mean?

N’Tirzah is a combination of:

Nefertari, most beloved of KingRameses(she of the two cities or two feathers).

Tirzah: Delight-some, (also the youngest daughter of Zelophehad).

My last name is Al Rephaim: Healing Spirit. It all translates to who I am: The most beloved delight-some healing spirit.

Why did you leave corporate?

I was laid off. I worked in banking thirteen years, from 1993-2007.

That's a long time. What was the transition like for you?

I went through a period of depression on and off for a period of 4 years. I shut down and I couldn't stop crying. I decided not to use prescription drugs to quell my depression. I realized that my depression stemmed from not pursuing my purpose. My purpose is music. When I went back to my music, I realized I was recycling other voices. I was not using my own voice, but eventually I found it. I also serve as a vocal therapist, which means I help people reconnect with their mind, body and spirit. This re-connection aids them in reclaiming their voice, a strong voice, for speaking, for singing, for life.

I was asked to assist with choreography and staging at Union Theological Seminary Theater, where the choreopoem, "For Colored Girls," by N'tozake Shange was being performed. While there, I also facilitated a workshop in concert with the director for the performers that utilized different mediums to help them access their voices for this very emotional production. The modalities used were creating healing waist beads, belly dance and voice therapy. Belly dance is symbolic of Feminine Divinity or the Feminine Divine. WaistBeads date back to Ancient Khemet (Egypt), and they are symbolic of womanhood, sexuality, femininity, healing, spirituality and protection amongst other things.

What did you do between 2007 and starting school?

Between 2007 and 2011 I started working on some songs for an EP (which was never released). I also successfully completed a Certificate in Child Care Management from New York University School of Professional Studies.

"My music is the seat of my creativity"

In addition to attending school to obtain my MS in Oriental Medicine, I went to work on creating my first CD, including the first single and video “Is It Possible.” I took my time with the single and the video. I would go to sleep and wake up thinking about it every day. I was so consumed with it, sometimes I wouldn't sleep; I just let the creativity flow. This is a new, digital age. Because music is so accessible, people want it for free. With the advent of file sharing, Spotify, Pandora, and music streaming in general, most people are not buying entire albums anymore. They’re listening to snippets of each song and buying what they like. They’re buying software that allows them to download music and videos for free. Once upon a time, a musician was a person that honed their craft, practicing for hours upon hours, learning music theory, taking voice lessons, etc. Now, with the purchase of some software, and at the push of the button, everyone is a producer in their own home. The market is flooded with mediocrity, and it’s disheartening to see. My music is a healing journey, a painting that captures the soul in a vulnerable moment, it’s a SoundScape. It merits being valued in a tangible way, and that means people should pay for it.

I'm a conservative bohemian.

I’m not a glamour girl. I’m not trying to get people to look at me, I want them to listen to me. I went through a transition and learned to accept myself-- hair, body, and all my imperfections.

At what age did accepting yourself kick in?

Around age 48-49. I think I’m a late bloomer in that regard. So much chatter in society and in the media about how women should look and be, especially in the entertainment business. The music business is a male dominated, misogynistic entity. I refuse to allow anyone to inform me how I should imagine myself, whether I should show more skin in a video, or whether my look is appealing. I refuse to allow anyone to commandeer my image. A woman is constantly defending herself against a barrage of comments on a daily basis; some seemingly innocuous, others quite obviously insulting: “Oh, you look nice today, are you going on a date?” “Why don’t you smile?” These types of comments are an affront to the choices that I make as an independent, free thinking, free-wheeling spirit. I dress for myself, I choose for myself and I smile for myself. I will not allow anyone, man or woman, to dominate my image, music, etc. That isn't empowering to me as a woman, as an Artist.

Now that I’m older, I have a stronger idea about how I want to be portrayed, about how I want to be marketed. The way God comes through me is the way it needs to come to the people, without a filter. I have to stay strong in who I am and Whose I am. I had to let some people go and now I can fly! I’m practicing self-preservation, not selfishness. I’ve learned to honor the passions that God has given me while I have time. I can’t do that while I’m broken. I want to touch one person at a time. One person is the world.

How do you measure success?

When it’s not tangible, I ask myself “Have I inspired, encouraged, and nurtured someone? Did I give my best?” When it comes to the tangible: I'd like to live comfortably. I’ll probably be working for the rest of my life. And I'll be working at what I love.

What are your specific goals?

Complete my Degrees. Establish a Community Clinic and a Private Practice in Oriental Medicine. Continue to create and perform. And I'd love to work with other musicians in helping them find their voice.

What is your favorite genre of music?

Classical Music. My parents passed that on to me. My mother is a classically trained pianist and my father is a classically trained vocalist. They provided the building blocks for how I create today. This is my heritage.

What is a strength you possess?

I have control issues, which isn't bad. Excellence is important to me.

What are your spiritual resources?

I don't follow a particular path. I consider myself an alchemist and metaphysician. Yoga, going within and finding my voice are my main resources. Meditation, breathing, accessing the centering power within and which surrounds me. Do no harm to self and others. Love and fear are the two primary emotions, and they are complete opposites.People think that Love & Hate are primary, but hate is not only a lack of Love. Hate is fear of the other, the unknown. If you’re not embracing Love, you’re just experiencing fear.

Favorite quote/saying/scripture that inspires and informs your life?

I am that I AM. God exists within me as me.

What book has affected you deeply?

The Temple of My Familiar by Alice Walker It enabled me to know and realize the extent of our femininity; its power. It makes me want to guard it.

What do you believe your message is?

Still I Rise.

PostScript:

N'Tirzah is now studying towards completion of a Certificate from New York University entitled Music Industry Essentials. She has also completed and released her second of five videos in her For Real video-poem series entitled, "You're Like Sweet Honey" while simultaneously releasing the single of the same name on iTunes and other platforms.

N'Tirzah has self-published a book of poetry and photographs with her photographer sibling, Colette Armand, entitled, "SoulJourn, A Healing Journey In Prose & Photography", and is currently working on her memoirs to be published independently early next year.